Arc to introduce Stress More Week

With the conclusion of another Stress Less Week, the students of UNSW have gone back to their usual habits - stressing about getting their assessments in on time, catching up on lectures, and obliterating their sleeping patterns as a result of the former two.

Arc, on the other hand, is stressing about getting more student participation in their events.  After a couple of near-missed Key Performance Indicator scares, causing the Brainstorming Department to ponder “Wait, why exactly are we holding this event again?”.

Now Arc has started the ball rolling with some major changes, announcing Arc the introduction of “Stress More Week”, with a projected start date of next term. 

We approached Arc’s Director of Mental Wellbeing, Harper Tenshin, for an explanation. “You know the famous motto: less is more.”

Noise understands that the theory is to proactively induce stress in an attempt to get more students participating in their termly stress reduction events.

Forget boring old readings and timed weekly tests. The stress of looming exams in the back of students’ minds while doing their best impressionist painting on a mini canvas is not enough. 

At the Arts and Crafts booths for Stress More Week, Arc will be introducing a series of paint-by-numbers canvases with dollar-store paint that either dries too fast or smudges too much. Students can also wind down by coloring in sheets with pencils that are slightly too large, and markers that bleed outside the lines.

Animal lovers, fret not - the other end of the quad will feature a gaggle of tetchy geese for students to relive their trauma. At least they’re not being chased by assignment deadlines. 

The event will also involve random isolated power shutdowns across campus. “Anything on campus could be targeted.” stresses Tenshin. “We’re talking lab computers. The campus Wi-Fi network. MyUNSW. These will all implore students to partake in good study habits by regularly saving their work and discourage procrastination.” 

The reception of Arc’s newest rebrand has been muted so far, perhaps due to students’ busy schedules. Noise had the opportunity to speak to one student, Mike Grain, at 4am outside the 24/7 Law Library.   

“I don’t really go for Stress Less Week since my schedule’s, like, really packed.” says Grain. “I think the geese idea is fun though. All that chasing really reminds me that my research paper is due in three hours.”

Grain declined further comment, stating that he had already used up his five-minute study break. 

With their extensive reinvention of Stress Less Week, it’s clear that Arc will stop at nothing to make their events bigger. Whether bigger means better, though - we’ll have to see when the inaugural Stress More Week rolls around next term.